1935-, American Director, Screenwriter, Actor, Comedian
In Beverly Hills… they don't throw their garbage away. They make it into television shows.
Woody Allen – [Hollywood]
Interestingly, according to modern astronomers, space is finite. This is a very comforting thought — particularly for people who can never
Woody Allen – [Science and Scientists]
It shows exactly what you can do if you're a total psychotic.
Woody Allen – [Possibilities]
Life is divided up into the horrible and the miserable.
Woody Allen – [Life and Living]
Man consists of two parts, his mind and his body, only the body has more fun.
Woody Allen – [Body]
Marriage is the death of hope.
Woody Allen – [Marriage]
Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.
Woody Allen – [Money]
More than any time in history mankind faces a crossroads. One path leads to despair and utter hopelessness, the other to total extinction. Let us pray that we have the wisdom to choose correctly.
Woody Allen – [History and Historians]
My one regret in life is that I'm not someone else.
Woody Allen – [Regret]
Of all the wonders of nature, a tree in summer is perhaps the most remarkable; with the possible exception of a moose singing ''Embraceable You'' in spats.
Woody Allen – [Animals]
On the plus side, death is one of the few things that can be done just as easily as lying down.
Woody Allen – [Death and Dying]
Organized crime in America takes in over forty billion dollars a year. This is quite a profitable sum, especially when one consider that the Mafia spends very little for office supplies.
Woody Allen – [Crime and Criminals]
Sex alleviates tension. Love causes it.
Woody Allen – [Love]
Sex is the most fun you can have without laughing.
Woody Allen – [Sex]
The lion and the calf will lay down together, but the calf won't get much sleep..
Woody Allen – [Marriage]
What if everything is an illusion and nothing exists? In that case, I definitely overpaid for my carpet.
Woody Allen – [Disillusion]
What if nothing exists and we're all in somebody's dream? Or what's worse, what if only that fat guy in the third row exists?
Woody Allen – [Dreams]
Why does man kill? He kills for food. And not only food: frequently there must be a beverage.
Woody Allen – [Reason]
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